Life - Anxiety

I have an anxiety disorder.  It's not a secret.  I'm pretty upfront about this although not specific of my complete diagnosis.  It has made life difficult.  I wish I had been diagnosed years ago because I spent years unhappy.  Since getting help a few years ago my life is so much better.  I have even been able to help others.  But there are definitely some things I still need help with in my anxiety.  I want to be the kind of mom that doesn't get upset or thrown by things.  For example, getting ready for vacation.  I feel so much pressure to get everything ready and packed without forgetting anything.  Then I feel the need to have the house as clean as possible before I leave.  I also feel this tremendous amount of pressure to leave at a set time.  I feel like I've messed the whole trip up if we leave later.  Once we are on the road I'm fine.  We love all being in the car together.  But my biggest anxiety is getting lost.  The GPS has been a huge help with that.  However on this trip a big bunch of detours messed even the GPS up.  We were turned around in a very uncomfortable part of St. Louis going in circles for about 30 minutes.  The type of mom I wanted to be was the one that just laughed and called it an adventure.  But I wasn't that mom.  I got stressed and cried and angry and well you get the idea.  Of course being tired was no help whatsoever.  I have to remember life is not a sprint but a marathon.  I just want to be all whole and healed now.  And I just want to not screw my children up permanently.

Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.  1 Peter 5:7