Life - constant battles

So 2 years ago I lost over 60 pounds.  It was a lot of work but very rewarding.  At that time I was in wonderful physical shape.  It was also at that time when I was in the worst emotional shape of my life.  I finally fell completely apart and am still working back toward recovery.  While getting in better emotional shape the physical work took a backseat.  So as of today I have gained 30 pounds back and am definitely out of shape again.  It's hard for me to not be upset with myself.  I should be happy with the fact that I am becoming a healthier emotional person.  But the human side of me is so wrapped up in the physical.  I have always had issues, like most women, with self concept.  I feel like I can't be attractive if I'm not thin. Now I would easily be able to tell any of my friends and students that it is simply not true for them.  And believe it.  But I can't do the same for me.  I'm not in a place in my life where I have the time or strength or money to set out on a huge health change.  I must keep focusing on my emotional health.  So I will battle with finding a way to accept and embrace the way I look while working on how I feel.

                  "Finish each day and be done with it.  you have done what you could.  Learn from it; tomorrow is a new day."    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Starting a Blog

So I'm in a workshop right now learning about setting up a blog.  I'm very excited about this!  I need to journal and typing is so much easier than writing for me.  Even if none else ever reads this blog it will be a huge blessing for me!  I plan on journaling about my personal and teaching life, my kids, and my musical world.


"If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would  not bother trying to say it in music"

                                                             -Gustav Mahler